Being Authentic: You Are In Control

Society trains us, from birth, to be slaves to others opinions.

Especially in our socially driven world, we are slaves to likes, comments, and gif emojis. Today, I was sort of thinking of this like ancient people being enslaved to their beliefs about the wild around them - a howl from wild animals, a lightening strike, or the sun rise and set were all controlled by Gods... the Viking "wyrd", or fate, being something out of our personal control. Our modern brains are still "controlled" by external input and just a simple word, look, or action by others can throw us into panic and fight, flight, or freeze mode.

Yet, we are totally in control.

You see - others opinions /can/ be important. I often ask others for critique or input on my work or things I am thinking of doing. I am open to even paying others to help me with things I feel as though I need other eyes on. However, random criticism is rarely helpful, and without context, can even hurt our feelings... and stagnate growth.

It isn't their fault, though, if we take their criticism as honest critique with love and meaning. It's our own personalization of their triggered reaction that is the problem. This doesn't absolve those who are hurting you out of their own screwed up reality... but it means you get to choose whether or not you want to keep them in your life or not. Even family sometimes fits in this category - sometimes people can't be what we want them to be in our lives and we need to make the boundaries that will help us be our best selves.

You actually have all the control, and all the free will, to act on what others say or do in your presence. Your /reaction/ to their statement or actions is all you and has nothing to do with them. No one can MAKE you *feel* any way - unless they are actively and physically abusing you - and if that's happening, PLEASE seek help to get away from them as soon as you can.

A healthy life is about surrounding ourselves with the people who make us feel amazing about our amazing selves. The awesome part is, you get to choose who those people are. The rest? Bye, Felicia!

<3, Jonni Khat