I am writing this not only as a mental and physical health Professional but also as someone who has been "duped" by others in the field who profess to be in the business of helping me get healthier - yet, who have taken my money and done nothing for me.
As a Pro, I think it's important to uncover the scammers and alert the public so that people begin to separate the reality of people who are genuinely there to help you reach your change goals, but also to keep the integrity of our business and trust solid.
As a consumer, I think it's even more important to share personal stories of those who have knowingly, or through ignorance of a lack of education and experience, actually harmed others rather than healing them.
I am going to start this by telling you all that the backbone of my own physical and mental health business isn't the degrees I have, the certifications I have obtained, or the years experience I have with clients. It's not even in the numbers of clients I tell you I have, or the testimonials and photos I share with you on my website. The core of my business is the relationships I build with my clients - and that relationship doesn't start with my past business... it begins, and ends, with YOU.
While I am not discounting education and experience - I am an Evidence-based Clinician, which means that I use both my own and client experience, peer-reviewed science, and spend my own money and time to keep up with the latest science and techniques for change. What I am saying is that those are not the things that are the most important when you are working with REAL PEOPLE.
Real people need real Professionals. They need people who will USE all that education and experience, personal and anecdotal, to shape the treatment, direction, and planning for success. It means we listen, get to know YOU, and shape a plan that will fit your lifestyle, age, goals, support, and commitment.
My first advice? Listen to them to make sure that they are listening to you, MORE! If you feel as though they are doing more talking than you are (or none at all, like an online lead funnel for clients that pay before you talk to a live person... RUN AWAY!!!!)
Second, ask LOTS of questions, and don't be afraid to take time to think about what they respond with, and then ask MORE questions... (being mindful that there's no way you are going to pick their brain of ALL their knowledge, even in a few hours of off and on QnA before you commit to signing on with them - and if they make you feel like that, RUN AWAY!!!!).
Third, if their immediate response is to hook you up with the "latest and greatest" plan that isn't bespoked or tailored to YOU as an individual... you got it - RUN AWAY! It's not that there aren't good programs that can fit many different people but if you get a generic "this fits YOU, Pickachu" sort of one size fits all (even if it's marketed to a "type" or "group") and you don't feel as though they really know you well from an hour or more of QnA back and forth, they are probably out to get your easy money and likely aren't qualified to help you.
Remember, there are a lot of people out there in our age of tech and social media, who are looking to make a buck and have no desire to help you change. Some of them even look shinier than Nigerian Lawyers with an inheritance to get you connected with... if you will only give them access to your bank account.
Just because it looks scientific, or fancy, or like it has a million followers... doesn't mean it's legit! First step to change is connecting with people with education and experience, but it's also getting with Professionals who want YOU to succeed, because they take time to get to know YOU - and not your non-refundable cash deposit in THEIR bank account.
<3 ~ Jonni Khat
Education and Inspiration for Mind, Body, and Spirit change!
Wednesday, October 24, 2018
Saturday, October 13, 2018
Why People Are Not Listening to You
"Why aren't my students listening to me?!!"
As a young Teacher, straight out of school, I was barely older than the students I was teaching. I was armed with a Bachelor in English Lit/Comp and a pre-Law minor with grad credit, and at that time, a post-baccalaureate teaching certification (which was half of a Masters). So... I was super educated (and continued to get hyper-educated over the next 20 years) - but was completely unprepared to deal with actual human beings.
What took me nearly 20 years to figure out was that I had no idea why they weren't listening to me because I was spending all my time trying to tell them everything I knew (which was just a sign that I was excited about sharing what I knew), but I wasn't listening to what they wanted to know.
Fast forward to me now and I have a Masters in Psych and several certifications in education, fitness, nutrition, and mental health... and 3 teenagers of my own, and am back in the classroom with teenagers. What I have learned is that relationships are the cornerstone of my life.
FIRST RULE: You can't talk to someone who has no buy-in to your message. If they don't care about botany or stamps, they won't care how much you know.
SECOND RULE: People will buy-in when they get how your message will help them reach their goals. Maybe your knowledge intimidates them, or they think you will judge them.
THIRD RULE: If you really want to make a difference, you need to get to know people and create relationships with them. This means you need to ASK them what they like, get to know what they WANT to know, and then figure out if your skill set can help them GET there.
While I don't regret all my education and experience, none of it will help me as much as the simple rules of building relationships and creating a buy-in with students and clients that will help us both reach our goals of being awesome.
<3, Jonni Khat
As a young Teacher, straight out of school, I was barely older than the students I was teaching. I was armed with a Bachelor in English Lit/Comp and a pre-Law minor with grad credit, and at that time, a post-baccalaureate teaching certification (which was half of a Masters). So... I was super educated (and continued to get hyper-educated over the next 20 years) - but was completely unprepared to deal with actual human beings.
What took me nearly 20 years to figure out was that I had no idea why they weren't listening to me because I was spending all my time trying to tell them everything I knew (which was just a sign that I was excited about sharing what I knew), but I wasn't listening to what they wanted to know.
Fast forward to me now and I have a Masters in Psych and several certifications in education, fitness, nutrition, and mental health... and 3 teenagers of my own, and am back in the classroom with teenagers. What I have learned is that relationships are the cornerstone of my life.
FIRST RULE: You can't talk to someone who has no buy-in to your message. If they don't care about botany or stamps, they won't care how much you know.
SECOND RULE: People will buy-in when they get how your message will help them reach their goals. Maybe your knowledge intimidates them, or they think you will judge them.
THIRD RULE: If you really want to make a difference, you need to get to know people and create relationships with them. This means you need to ASK them what they like, get to know what they WANT to know, and then figure out if your skill set can help them GET there.
While I don't regret all my education and experience, none of it will help me as much as the simple rules of building relationships and creating a buy-in with students and clients that will help us both reach our goals of being awesome.
<3, Jonni Khat
Women, Culture, and Voice: How The Narrative Change Begins
Women are coming into a new generation of voice in this age of social media, and change can be scary - but the old patterns of expectation are still strong. There is a deeply complex and unconscious idea that old beliefs and traditions are not only acceptable but necessary, to everyone. While social media has connected us in immediate ways of communication never before seen in the history of known mankind, it has also bolstered and empowered the unempowering and inequitable ways of the past.
As women:
For all that America is a nation of rebels and many women - and men - do actively work to help change the narrative, women are still caged in puritanical and patriarchal roots in many ways. Changing this narrative is especially difficult for those with racial and social differences for both obvious, and unconscious reasons, rooted deep within the Western "tradition" of chattel economies - and using people as a cheap resource for both labor and recreation.
One factor in this is the concept that freedom from direct enslavement automatically grants others autonomy and rights. Yet, social castigation and judgment can not only keep others enslaved on a public level, but it also reveals levels of social and potentially epigenetic* abuse and a long-standing "understanding" that American society has of what is "decent" and "proper". These concepts allow people to openly condemn others for acts which they deem impolite or an affront to their own sense of security. Being denied correct reciprocity in a business transaction, receiving a lack of empathy or compassion from family, or accusations of deceptive reports of physical and mental well-being are common in our culture - but age, gender, and social class create the hierarchy against which public opinion is measured. While this is not an absolute of gender and age, the numbers of those who are believed to be just and true in living an authentic life and being socially acceptable in their ability to confront things they believe to be wrong is unbalanced and biased.
Another factor is that social and consumer media editorializes, spins, and judges each and every image, statement, and action of our entire society. While no one is necessarily excused from this process, it also bleeds into our daily lives offline. We process and evaluate trillions of data points each day through our modern technological lenses, to be sorted out and exposed through our communication with others. No longer simply a water cooler meeting between co-workers on break, we are able to instantaneously photograph and comment on the world around us - usually without thinking too hard about how that world is shaping us, and our opinions and comments.
Becoming aware of how our past and present shapes our views and actions is an important step in changing the narrative of how each and every one of us is treated, and treats others, in our future. While our past and present can be neither positive or negative when we view them analytically - they are what shapes how we act and react to others and situations around us. Unconsciously moving in the world creates problems as we tend to replay and recommit acts against others that we'd consciously condemn or rebuke, and continue a cycle of inequity and enslavement of others without understanding how or why we're abusing them of their humanity.
Learning how to become a change warrior and an active participant in the experience of freedom which our country holds so dearly is a process, but requires a commitment to living a more actively aware and analytical life. Being mindful of the pieces of our DNA and upbringing that cause us to judge others, create action, and of the lenses we wear when we look at the world can become the new platform from which we can all see more empathy, compassion, equity, and hope - for all. Not just for women, but for everyone.
<3, Jonni Khat Santschi
* Epigenetics is the study of inheritable traits through our DNA, which we believe extends not only to physical traits but also to memory and consciousness. For more reading, check out the following links:
What is Epigenetics
A Simplified Explanation of Epigenetics
Epigenetics, The Study of Change
Video: Epigenetics (Funny, but informative from SciShow)
Video: Epigenetic Ancestral Ghosts in Your DNA (Michael Skinner, Biologist)
As women:
We are still expected to apologize for everything we (and others) think we do wrong.
We are still assumed to do most of the parental and household tasks, along with our "hobby" work outside the house.
We are still treated as sexual objects and our bodies and the judgment of them belongs to others.
We are still condemned for speaking up in public, as though raising our voice is an affront to those around us.
We are still assumed to do most of the parental and household tasks, along with our "hobby" work outside the house.
We are still treated as sexual objects and our bodies and the judgment of them belongs to others.
We are still condemned for speaking up in public, as though raising our voice is an affront to those around us.
For all that America is a nation of rebels and many women - and men - do actively work to help change the narrative, women are still caged in puritanical and patriarchal roots in many ways. Changing this narrative is especially difficult for those with racial and social differences for both obvious, and unconscious reasons, rooted deep within the Western "tradition" of chattel economies - and using people as a cheap resource for both labor and recreation.
One factor in this is the concept that freedom from direct enslavement automatically grants others autonomy and rights. Yet, social castigation and judgment can not only keep others enslaved on a public level, but it also reveals levels of social and potentially epigenetic* abuse and a long-standing "understanding" that American society has of what is "decent" and "proper". These concepts allow people to openly condemn others for acts which they deem impolite or an affront to their own sense of security. Being denied correct reciprocity in a business transaction, receiving a lack of empathy or compassion from family, or accusations of deceptive reports of physical and mental well-being are common in our culture - but age, gender, and social class create the hierarchy against which public opinion is measured. While this is not an absolute of gender and age, the numbers of those who are believed to be just and true in living an authentic life and being socially acceptable in their ability to confront things they believe to be wrong is unbalanced and biased.
Another factor is that social and consumer media editorializes, spins, and judges each and every image, statement, and action of our entire society. While no one is necessarily excused from this process, it also bleeds into our daily lives offline. We process and evaluate trillions of data points each day through our modern technological lenses, to be sorted out and exposed through our communication with others. No longer simply a water cooler meeting between co-workers on break, we are able to instantaneously photograph and comment on the world around us - usually without thinking too hard about how that world is shaping us, and our opinions and comments.
Becoming aware of how our past and present shapes our views and actions is an important step in changing the narrative of how each and every one of us is treated, and treats others, in our future. While our past and present can be neither positive or negative when we view them analytically - they are what shapes how we act and react to others and situations around us. Unconsciously moving in the world creates problems as we tend to replay and recommit acts against others that we'd consciously condemn or rebuke, and continue a cycle of inequity and enslavement of others without understanding how or why we're abusing them of their humanity.
Learning how to become a change warrior and an active participant in the experience of freedom which our country holds so dearly is a process, but requires a commitment to living a more actively aware and analytical life. Being mindful of the pieces of our DNA and upbringing that cause us to judge others, create action, and of the lenses we wear when we look at the world can become the new platform from which we can all see more empathy, compassion, equity, and hope - for all. Not just for women, but for everyone.
<3, Jonni Khat Santschi
* Epigenetics is the study of inheritable traits through our DNA, which we believe extends not only to physical traits but also to memory and consciousness. For more reading, check out the following links:
What is Epigenetics
A Simplified Explanation of Epigenetics
Epigenetics, The Study of Change
Video: Epigenetics (Funny, but informative from SciShow)
Video: Epigenetic Ancestral Ghosts in Your DNA (Michael Skinner, Biologist)
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